I sit here re-listening to My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, inspired by seeing Kanye at MSG last night. I’ve always been a Yeezy fan, despite the public out cry that he’s a giant douche, the talent is too high to over look, with that said he’s never been my number one guy. I’ve gone from fan boying over ever new Lil Wayne song that came out, to now having more interest in what track K.Dot is murdering. Anyways I digress.
I’m now in that awkward stage in life where I don’t really consider myself a full fledged adult, I don’t work or get paid as such or have the full responsibility of one. I’m still trying to clamor on to my final days, months and years of easy living, and enjoy these worry-free days. With that said, Blink 182 wasn’t lying when they said “nobody likes you when you’re 23” or whatever lyric it was, although it should be corrected to nobody knows what the fuck they are doing at 23. It seems like everything these days that I enjoy comes with a negative. I love where I work and what I do, but don’t get paid enough. I love spending times with all my friends, but don’t have the time or a comparable schedule to see them. It just seems like time keeps passing by, and each day life gets more confusing.
So when Kanye played “Lost in the World”, it all just made too much sense. Too many times have I sat in my room late at night wondering if I had made the right choices. Did I just toss thousands of dollars in the trash for a degree that I’m unsure what I’m doing with? Am I not being aggressive enough and holding myself back? Am I happy? Without turning this into a Thought Catalog type of post, it just seems like everyone is lost in the world at this age. It seems like an unspoken code that everyone knows this, but nobody is about to say it. Hell, I’m not going to look vulnerable and sound like some depressed mope. But you soon realize everyone feels the same way, we were sold a dream and now have buyers remorse.
So what does this all have to do with Mr. West? What did Yeezy teach me? I guess in a movie or some other dramatic essay, I would say how it inspired me and blah blah some other cliche stuff. But I think it comforted me knowing this artistic genius (to some) has had those same feelings, it’ll be fine. And if not, I’ll always be able to listen to My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.